Some street-level intelligence would clearly help us unravel the unusual events in Switchtrack Alley, and no one knows the streets better than the gangs of misguided youths who inhabit them on a daily (and, indeed, nightly) basis.
Since the most efficient method of obtaining information from a gang member is usually to threaten him/her with a stay in one of the state's many fine correctional facilities, I propose the following action, which I am provisionally naming "Operation Scumbag Roundup".
The steps of this operation are as follows:
1) Car 3 drives, quietly and unobtrusively, to one end of Switchtrack Alley, and parks near the entrance.
2) Car 7 drives, loudly and with sirens blazing, down the other end of the alley, to flush out any of the local residents engaged in illicit activities or otherwise possessed of a guilty conscience.
3) When one or more such individuals attempt to escape by running to the far end of the alley, Car 7 signals to Car 3, which drives forward to block the exit, closing the trap.
4) Officers disembark from both cars and detain as many suspects as possible, searching them for hidden weapons, narcotics, and other incriminating evidence, before making arrests as appropriate.
Notes and suggestions welcome.
Patrol Officer John Bishop